EXCERPT OF “FORGIVE AND FORGET”

Chardae sighed as she lay with her cheek pressed to her husband’s chest. They’d just finished making love and he did not disappoint.  No not all. In fact,  he’d been at his very best tonight. So much so that she couldn’t help but give him her best too. For the last three months, they’d been separated because of his infidelity.  She closed her eyes and squeezed them tight, willing herself not to think about his betrayal. But she couldn’t help but think about it. It wasn’t that long ago. When he’d told her about his affair with a twenty-three year old, about half her age, it just about tore her apart. The fact that she was family, hurt even more. As much as she’d tried to pretend that it was all joke, she knew that it wasn’t. He’d never joke with her about such things. She remembered how she’d thrown him out of their home that they’d built together. A home that they were suppose to live in together for the rest of their lives.

She inhaled sharply. “Are you serious? You slept with someone else?” Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as if it was going to bust out of her chest at any moment.

He hesitated for a brief moment. “Yes, I  slept with someone else. I slept with her one time. It didn’t just happen, Chardae. I had to time to think about it. It was a mistake.”

She could feel the tears behind her eyes. She hated feeling weak. “But why? Did I not make you happy? What could I’ve done to make you betray me, Jake?”

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want her to blame herself. “Chardae, please don’t do this. It wasn’t about you. You did everything right. It’s me.” That wasn’t entirely true but he didn’t want the blame to be placed on her shoulders.

She didn’t believe anything that came out of his lying mouth. He was holding back as usual. “Jacob, I suggest you tell the truth because lying will not get you anywhere.” She knew that she’d gained about 15 pounds within the last few months but that shouldn’t have made him cheat. It had to be something else.  When he didn’t say anything, that made her even more nervous. “Jake?”

He exhaled a shaky breath. He absolutely could not tell her that he’d slept with her cousin, Kim. “Chardae, it wasn’t you. I just made a foolish mistake. I let her get to close to me and vice versa and that’s how it all got started.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. She’d been with this man for too many years not to know when he was leaving something out. “Who is she?” She didn’t want to know but she asked anyway.

“Chardae, please.” Jacob pleaded.

She crossed her arms. “Who the hell is she, Jacob?”

He let out a frustrated groan. God, she was too inquisitive for her own good. If he didn’t tell her then she would just keep asking him. Damn. “It’s your cousin. I slept with Kim, Chardae. She began calling me about two months ago. I’m still not sure why but that’s how it began.”

Her jaw nearly dropped. “Are you kidding me? You slept with my cousin, Kim? Are you out of your mind?!” She shouted. Her entire being began to tremble. She was beyond pissed off. Hell, she was infuriated. “Get your sorry, no good behind out of my house! And if you know what’s good for you, you won’t come back!”

“Chardae, let’s be reasonable. Let’s talk about it.” Jacob tried to reason with her although he knew it was no use to do so. His wife could be as stubborn as a mule sometimes.

This had to be some sick joke. He wanted to talk about it? “Talk about it? What is there to talk about? You’ve obviously made up your mind that you would rather sleep with a hoe like Kim then to be with a classy woman like me. She has three kids with three different men. Do you really think she cares about you? This is the last time I’m going to tell you this….GET OUT!” She screamed.

Jacob knew better than to argue with her. He picked up his keys and his duffel bag and made a hasty retreat. When he shut the door, she fell to the floor and let the tears fall.

She felt his arm tighten around her waist, bringing her out of her reverie. She looked up to find him staring at her intently. “Don’t think about it.” He said softly and then slid his finger down her cheek.

“I’m trying not to.” Which in fact was the truth. She’d been successful in not thinking about it before they’d tumbled into bed. She blushed when she thought about how he’d tore her clothes off when they’d argued earlier. Apparently, he’d been as sexually frustrated as she was.

He smiled. “Try harder. I don’t want us to go back to that. I want us to move forward. I’ve missed you.”

She lifted her hand to caress his cheek. “I know, Jacob.” Then she moved atop him and met his soft lips, in a kiss that was sure to inflame her entire being. She parted her lips to invite his tongue in and he complied with what she wanted.  She sighed as he slid inside her again. Was it possible for her to want him again so soon? Apparently so, because her body began to move on its own accord. He skimmed his fingers down her back which caused her to shudder and surprisingly, fueled her fire more. She leaned over more so that he could suck and pull on her aching breasts. When he pulled one of her nipples in between his teeth, she moaned so loud she was sure the neighbors could hear her. She rode him so fierce that her body convulsed when she reached completion and he groaned her name when he followed not too long after her. Breathing rapidly, she lay her body down on his.

“Maybe we should fight more often.” He teased

She chuckled. “Maybe. What was the argument about again?”

He laughed. “Honestly, I can’t remember. When you showed up here to my hotel room in that dress, I couldn’t think about anything else.”

She felt her face flush. “I guess it was a bit revealing. If you couldn’t think of much else then why did you argue with me?” She’d been on her way to a banquet that was being given for one of her co-workers, when she received a call from her lawyer. When she’d learned that Jacob was planning to pay her alimony, she turned her car around to go to his hotel so that she could tell him just how much she didn’t want his money. At the point she’d forgotten all about the revealing dress she was wearing. The dress she’d worn was black and had a deep split in the chest area and the rest molded to her curvaceous body all the way down to her knees. She was proud that she’d lost at least twenty pounds since she’d found out about his affair. Losing the excess weight had strengthened her self-esteem. It hadn’t been easy but nothing ever was.

“Not sure. I was doing it half-heartedly. I kept thinking about how to get you out of that dress. I guess the argument worked to my advantage.”

She laughed. “You’re shameless. I can’t complain though.”

He moaned. “I can’t either. I’ve missed you.” Truth is he had missed her terribly. So much so that he’d fallen into some kind of depression over the last few months. Sure, he and Chardae had gone to a few marriage counseling sessions before they’d decided to get a divorce, but that made seeing her that much harder. Especially when she hadn’t forgiven him for his betrayal. He still wasn’t sure whether she had forgiven him or not. He wasn’t sure if even wanted to know. Having her in his arms, made him extremely happy.

“I’ve missed you too, Jacob. So much.” She admitted.  She never would have told him that a few months ago but she figured honesty was the best policy at this point.

He lifted up slightly and she moved with him. “You’ve missed me?”

She smiled. “Of course I have. You seemed surprised to hear that.”

“Well, yeah. Every time that I have seen you, you’ve wanted to cut my head off.”

She sighed. That was true. She’d never let on that she’d missed him. How could she when she’d been so hurt and broken? “Jacob, I was hurt. What did you expect? Regardless, I still missed you….us….our life together….our marriage.”

He nodded because his throat was constricted because of the words she’d just said to him. He never would have thought that she still wanted him…after all that had happened. “Thank you.” He said a few minutes later, when he felt like he could speak.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in closer. “No, thank you.” She brought her mouth to his and kissed him passionately.

“We need to talk.” He murmured against her lips.

“Later.” She mumbled. She heard him let out a sigh of contentment and he made love to her again.

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